shit-fire

conversations with tumblr

  • tumblr: Hey, Mike! I haven't seen you in a while! I missed you!
  • Me: Yeah...
  • tumblr: Come hang out for a while! Reblog some posts. We've got cats, funnies, quotes and gifs, you name it. Make yourself at home.
  • Me: Look, I don't know how to say this, but...
  • tumblr: Mike. You're scaring me. What are you talking about?
  • Me: It's just... I've been on reddit a lot lately...
  • tumblr: You WHAT?!? I thought we had something special! Remember the cartoon with the funny? Remember the laughter we shared?
  • Me: Listen, it's just that, well, reddit doesn't make me sift through a bunch of bullshit I don't want to get to the good stuff. I can choose subreddits to subscribe to, and I don't even need subscribers of my own to have an audience if I want to post original content. I just need to share something worthwhile in an appropriate subreddit. No longer do I have to spend 3 hours sifting through a cesspool of Doctor Who, shitty photography and miscellaneous pointless hipster shit in order to find something I actually enjoy. I'll stop by every now and then to see how you're doing, maybe even reblog a few posts, but I've moved on. Just like StumbleUpon before you, you have been replaced by provider who can bring me the content I desire more effectively and efficiently. Half of your worthwhile content comes from reddit anyway and on reddit I'm not forced to tolerate other people bitching about how alone they are. I tried using tumblr savior numerous times but I was still drenched in Harry Potter and other peoples' music preferences. It's over.
  • tumblr: But Mike... I... cats... fanart... **bawling** I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAY. I'M GOING TO GO LOOK THROUGH A COUPLE HUNDRED MORE BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS OF HALF-NAKED WOMEN SMOKING CIGARETTES AND LISTEN TO BON IVER UNTIL THE NEXT SEASON OF (insert television show with rabid fanbase) IS ONLINE. I'M GONNA MAKE INSTAGRAM PICTURES AND THEY'RE GONNA BE REALLY CLOSE UP PARTIAL SHOTS OF INANIMATE OBJECTS AND/OR YOUNG WOMEN WITH BLANK, EMOTIONLESS FACES AND THE CAPTIONS I PUT ON THEM ARE GOING TO BE SO SAD. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW SAD THEY ARE GOING TO BE. OH GOD I AM SO ALONE AND IT HAS NOT THE SLIGHTEST THING TO DO WITH MY BEHAVIOR. IT IS EVERYONE ELSE'S FAULT FOR SUCKING. I HATE YOU. EVERYTHING SUCKS BUT TUMBLR. LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(Source: ohsnapcrackle, via emnormous)

(Source: 9gag, via tacobellgoddess)